For the month of February there has been an imbalance within myself. A place inside where it hurts to be whole. Without being too candid- it felt like things were flipped on their head. The two cups are flipped upside down- relinquishing emotions. Feeling dry and used up; not fulfilled in some way. It was coming from a place, emotionally but why and when it occurred can't be pinpointed.
I was quite hesitant to write a blog about this because there is a part of me that is still going through this. The imbalance lies within- feeling quite disconnected with my feminine energies. I have had a Patron deity for awhile now but, I had been on the search for a Matron. I feel eternally connected with Freyja- the leader of the Valkyries and that is what I hope to encompass in my life. Embracing life and death, support and fieriness, love and strength. I need tough love in my life. To be completely honest I think I was afraid of adapting to a Matron. Patrons seem to love from afar and only let in a stern hand when really needed. A Matron would see things coming, allowing me to love myself and at the same time- bring truth. The two of cups rx was a sign of my emotions blocking what was needed and what was inevitable. Quarreling and hurt consumed me but, now I am learning from these feelings.
Next month is The Queen of Pentacles Rx and I look at it as a sense of self preservation and dependency. I can take it as a warning or a sign that I am not alone. It's okay to be selfish and dependent on my Deity. As long as I grow and learn- blossom from the experience.
