July Card: The Chariot Reversed

This post is extremely late -- I know. I also know that this month has been the month of extreme lack of control and direction. I feel I am in a slump and my anxiety has been at an all time high! To pin point such things and where they are stemming from is a very difficult thing to do. This month, I do not have a realization for you, I do not have a lesson learned. All I have is awareness and understanding of what I am feeling in the now.

As I pull the reins of The Chariot, I loose more and more control. The horses feel my fear and I'm going too fast to feel as though I can think on my feet. Things will get this way- you will feel anxiety and pressure and become super hard on yourself and you can try and think of every solution in the world to help you but sometimes, all you need to do is ride it out. Sometimes a crash is inevitable. Grit your teeth and brace yourself. Crash, pick yourself up and learn.

Things are always worse when you're in the thick of it. After the fall, there is always a way to recovery. Live in it at this moment, feel every bit and the rest will come later.

 
(I wish I could credit the artist but I could not find it anywhere!! This is not my image and if anyone knows this artist please email me!)

June Card: The Moon Reversed

June was quite a difficult month for me. I think that is one of the reasons why it took me so long to post this up.

The problem was: the reality of the matter. Honestly, I felt I needed a bit of darkness and a hideaway. There was just too much sensory reception in the way of realizing certain things in my life. I longed for a bit of mystery and illusion and dreaming. I worked so hard to distance myself for a bit of reality that I actually became drenched in it. I was so caught up in what I had to do instead of what I wanted to do and this hurt my dreams and aspirations a bit. Things took a back seat and I hated myself for taking the form of "responsible adult" because- let's face it- it's fucking boring. I was mostly afraid I was going to be stuck in that mode forever! It took experience in certain things as well as a little planning and organizing that finally set me straight! I'm not stuck in the darkness nor in the light but finely tuning the balance of both. Sometimes it takes a little reality to be grateful for your sense purpose and for what you DO have.

To all those reading this- so many blessings. My readers help more than you may know. <3