Over the course of January I've felt the direction of the Two of Wands close by my side. Putting my thoughts into action; the balance of thinking and doing. The duality of my patterns and the patterns I place in front of me to follow. Was there direction? Absolutely. Was there also doubt? Completely.
Having determination and direction does not fall short of pursuing it, unencumbered. There were many things I has to face- the biggest one being sick in the beginning of January. I was sick with a terrible cold for two weeks; filling my body with nothing but NyQuil and Orange Juice (extra pulp). My brainstorms were so rich that I have the beginnings of so many amazing and wonderful ideas rattling around in my head. To put all of those things into action was very hard. Motivation and laziness seemed to take over in one wave after another. Although I did fall many times, I was still able to pick myself back up and reset my routine. Everything has be trial and error. The best thing is to keep that fire kindling. Even though my fire was set to a small glow in the coals at times; I never gave up and I was never put out. I blew slowly on the coals until they caught onto my passions again and I was reminded how creatively blessed and lucky I am to be this living, breathing human being.
Just keep breathing and you'll light yourself eventually, loves. If I can do it, so can you. XOX
My, it has been one crazy month so far; full of creating and brainstorming and LOTS of research. I am so excited to announce that I have so much more to come for you all!
Also, my Etsy store is up and running with THREE (that's right, count 'em) THREE ITEMS OF PURCHASE! You can click on the button that says "Etsy" at the top of my blog for more information, doll!
I am currently working on several projects to be offered as well as lots and lots of juicy (free) content and, last but not least: My About Me SECTION! ...finally.
Needless to say, it is hard work. I cherish every day I get to do it, though.
Although, it doesn't always seem that way. Things can get bleak after awhile. Always wondering if I will be able to conquer my fears and rise up to the challenge. I have never wanted something so badly and I've never stayed focused on something for so long. Now- why is this? I have had so many passions over the years that have been smothered one way or another. By myself or a close family member or friend; whether it be malicious or no- there seemed to always be a reason in the way. This made me feel bad....
I mean REALLY bad and it still does. I didn't know why people expected so little of me when I knew I had the potential to be big, big, BIG!
It was easier (and still is) to tell someone to be safe. Take the safe route, there is less of a chance of failure. I mean, if you take the 9-5 job, what's really so bad about that, right? Steady income, benefits, steady hours and boring. Hey, if a 9-5 is for you, HAVE at it, by all means. Some people really enjoy their 9-5 job and that is amazing that they found something that is right for them but...
It's not for me. It's like trying to force a triangle peg into a circular hole- not going to work. (and did I mention - OUCH!)
Then, I heard a theory by a man named Viktor Frankel. It was a TedTalk.
(By the by: if you have never heard of TedTalks I HIGHLY recommend them. Amazing, to say the least)
I will link the video but it basically said if you hold people in a higher regard, if you believe in them, it will lift them up and you will see the person they truly are. If you judge them or assume what they are capable of before you even give them a chance, they will always be viewed as less than what they are. This has always stuck with me.
So I asked myself: Why now? Why with Tarot and spirituality and Art? Why?
Because I believe now. I believe in myself to be meant for more. I see myself and I fall in love with what I am doing each and EVERY time. So in the words of The Smiths:
